If you feel bummed out that your friends have a man and you don’t, you may act out of desperation, end up with the wrong person, and regret it later on.

That being said, you still might want to look at where you could be going wrong when it comes to finding a potential bae.


A man will not like if you are clingy, needy or want constant attention. He will sense pretty quickly that you are lonely, or have an emotional void in your life that you are trying to fill. This will chase him away. He wants to be somebody who has earned you and feels chosen by you. He shouldn’t have to feel he is a filler in your life. Neediness stems from a lack of self-worth and feeling that you are not good enough. For this reason, it’s best to really know yourself – then, men won’t be able to resist you.

BEING TOO picky.

While it is great to focus on physical traits, occupation, personality, and how much money he makes, good skin and a toned body won’t get you through your marriage and isn’t the secret to a happy relationship. Having a mindset of “all or nothing” is a fantasy, so it is important to jot down what you dealbreakers can’t bend on, versus things you are are willing to be flexible about.


 If a guy has breached your trust in the past and toyed with your heart, another might do the same thing with smooth talking and give you validation when it is just a trap. Soon enough, you will realize how much you’re wasting time and energy, bending over backwards to show him how much you care with no payoff or return. It is time to break that cycle and ask yourself: why does this happen? Guys may have charisma and a great sense of humor but do they also take a little too much interest in your life only to manipulate you and get the best out of you? This can leave you feeling hurt and damaged. These men have problems of their own that they haven’t dealt with, and are using you for validation and as an escape as maybe they have also been rejected or hurt in the past.

Attracting love. You need to make sure you are not giving off any wrong signals. In order to bring love in your life you need to make sure you are available for the other person. There needs to be receptivity. Having a work schedule and a routine is fine, but you need to make sure you are in the right place emotionally. A great exercise is to wake up every morning and ask yourself, “what makes me marketable? Would I want to date me today? Or what are things that work like a magnet for the guy and most importantly, what do I have that the person would feel is lovable?” The exercise will guide you towards both your possible assets, as well as flaws. Keep in mind that nobody wants somebody who is selfish, inconsistent, or emotionally messy with sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies.

Dwelling on your ex. We have all been through hurt and pain after a break up, but it is important not to bring that into your present situation. If you are looking for the wow factor in a guy but still thinking about your ex, that will not go anywhere. You will not only miss out on the opportunity to meet somebody great, but will do damage by carrying toxic waste around. Yes, the scarring and wounds can take a lot of time to heal, but it is important to realize it is an active process and one that you need to work on constantly to avoid trapping yourself in that vicious cycle again.

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