HOW TO KNOW WHETHER YOUR PARTNER IS TAKING YOU FOR GRANTED


It’s a total drag to feel like you’re taken for granted. Unfortunately, this happens all too often—especially in relationships. One partner just naturally starts to overlook what the other contributes. With that in mind, here are the likely signs your partner is taking you—and all you do for them—for granted.

1. THEY DON’T SEEK YOUR ADVICE

“It’s natural to seek advice from those who you love and appreciate,” says Morrison. Someone who recognizes your true importance in their life will be sure to seek your input before making any major decisions. Failing to do so is a sign that person has begun overlooking your influence, thereby taking you and your perspective for granted.

2. THEY CUT CONVERSATIONS SHORT

“If they walk away or have to get off the phone quickly when you’re talking to them,” they’re taking you for granted, says relationship coach Kate Romero. When someone truly values the other person’s feelings, they make sure not to continually cut conversations short, leaving the other feeling unwanted. At the very least, they would call back later to finish up the talk

3. THEY ONLY TEXT WHEN THEY WANT SOMETHING

If your partner is only texting you sporadically—particularly when they want something—it’s a sign you’re being taken for granted, says Holly Shaftel, a dating coach for women in STEM. While this might be an appropriate method of communication for more casual relationships, it’s wholly inappropriate for a committed one. More akin to a booty call, the messenger is expecting you to respond on their time, not taking into account your own.

4. THEY PUT THEIR WORK BEFORE YOU

If your partner is “more committed to their job than to their relationship with you,” you’re being taken you granted, says Shaftel. While a relationship can’t always take precedence over the demands of the workforce, they should at least be trying to balance the two. Once you’ve become “more like the ‘side hustle,’” it’s time to reevaluate the current arrangement.

5. THEY STOP KEEPING PROMISES

“If your partner always promises things and never follows through,” you’re being taken for granted, says Emily Mendez, a former psychotherapist and mental health writer. The fact is, people keep their word when dealing with others whom they value and respect. As soon as someone shows a willingness to diverge from promises made, it’s a sign they’ve ceased to value you correctly.

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